## Kiddushin Daf 31b

###### Kiddushin 31b:1
[Kiddushin 31b:1](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kiddushin/r/31b:1)

וּמְבִיאוֹ לְחַיֵּי הָעוֹלָם הַבָּא.

**William Davidson Edition - English:**
and this action **brings him to the life of the World-to-Come.**


###### Kiddushin 31b:2
[Kiddushin 31b:2](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kiddushin/r/31b:2)

אָמַר רַבִּי אֲבָהוּ: כְּגוֹן אֲבִימִי בְּרִי קִיֵּים מִצְוַת כִּיבּוּד. חַמְשָׁה בְּנֵי סְמִיכִי הֲוָה לֵיהּ לַאֲבִימִי בְּחַיֵּי אָבִיו, וְכִי הֲוָה אֲתָא רַבִּי אֲבָהוּ, קָרֵי אַבָּבָא, רָהֵיט וְאָזֵיל וּפָתַח לֵיהּ וְאָמַר: אִין, אִין, עַד דְּמָטֵאי הָתָם.

**William Davidson Edition - English:**
**Rabbi Abbahu said:** One **such as Avimi, my son,** properly **fulfilled the mitzva of honoring** his parents. The Gemara relates: **Avimi had five sons during his father’s lifetime** who were **ordained** to issue halakhic rulings, and he too was ordained. **And** yet **when Rabbi Abbahu,** his father, **came and called at the gate** to enter, Avimi **would** himself **run and go to open** the door **for him. And before he arrived there, he** would already **say: Yes, yes,** so that his father would not think that he was being ignored.


###### Kiddushin 31b:3
[Kiddushin 31b:3](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kiddushin/r/31b:3)

יוֹמָא חַד אֲמַר לֵיהּ: אַשְׁקְיַין מַיָּא. אַדְּאַיְיתִי לֵיהּ נַמְנֵם. גָּחֵין קָאֵי עֲלֵיהּ עַד דְּאִיתְּעַר. אִיסְתַּיַּיעָא מִילְּתֵיהּ וּדְרַשׁ אֲבִימִי ״מִזְמוֹר לְאָסָף״.

**William Davidson Edition - English:**
**One day** Rabbi Abbahu **said to** Avimi his son: **Give me water to drink. Before he brought him** the water, Rabbi Abbahu **dozed off.** Avimi **bent over** and **stood over him until** his father **awoke.** The performance of this mitzva **aided him,** i.e., as a reward God helped him in his studies, **and** Avimi succeeded in homiletically **interpreting** the psalm: **“A song to Asaph”** (Psalms 79).


###### Kiddushin 31b:4
[Kiddushin 31b:4](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kiddushin/r/31b:4)

אֲמַר לֵיהּ רַב יַעֲקֹב בַּר אֲבוּהּ לְאַבָּיֵי: כְּגוֹן אֲנָא, דְּעַד דְּאָתֵינָא מִבֵּי רַב אַבָּא מְדַלֵּי לִי כָּסָא וְאִמָּא מָזְגָה לִי, הֵיכִי אֶיעֱבֵיד? אֲמַר לֵיהּ: מֵאִמָּךְ קַבֵּיל, וּמֵאֲבוּךְ לָא תְּקַבֵּל דְּכֵיוָן דְּבַר תּוֹרָה הוּא חָלְשָׁה דַּעְתֵּיהּ.

**William Davidson Edition - English:**
**Rav Ya’akov bar Avuh said to Abaye:** With regard to one **such as I,** so beloved by my parents that **before I return from the study hall my father brings me a cup and my mother pours for me, how should I act?** Is it disrespectful to accept this honor from them? Abaye **said to him: Accept** it **from your mother, but do not accept it from your father, as, since he is a Torah scholar he will be disheartened** if his son does not show him the proper level of respect.


###### Kiddushin 31b:5
[Kiddushin 31b:5](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kiddushin/r/31b:5)

רַבִּי טַרְפוֹן הֲוָה לֵיהּ הָהִיא אִמָּא דְּכֹל אֵימַת דַּהֲוָת בָּעֲיָא לְמֵיסֵק לְפוּרְיָא גָּחִין וּסְלִיק לַהּ, וְכֹל אֵימַת דֵּהוָת נָחִית, נֶחְתַּת עֲלוּיָה. אֲתָא וְקָא מִשְׁתַּבַּח בֵּי מִדְרְשָׁא. אָמְרֵי לֵיהּ: עֲדָיִין לֹא הִגַּעְתָּ לַחֲצִי כִּיבּוּד. כְּלוּם זָרְקָה אַרְנָקִי בְּפָנֶיךָ לַיָּם וְלֹא הִכְלַמְתָּהּ?

**William Davidson Edition - English:**
The Gemara relates: **Rabbi Tarfon had a certain** manner of treating his **mother, that whenever she wished to ascend into** her **bed he would bend over and** help **her to ascend, and whenever she wished to descend** from the bed, **she would descend onto him. He came and praised** himself in the **study hall** for performing the mitzva of honoring one’s father and mother so thoroughly. **They said to him: You still have not reached even half of** the **honor** due to her. **Has** it ever happened that **she threw a purse into the sea in front of you, and you did not embarrass her?**


###### Kiddushin 31b:6
[Kiddushin 31b:6](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kiddushin/r/31b:6)

רַב יוֹסֵף כִּי הֲוָה שָׁמַע קָל כַּרְעָא דְאִמֵּיהּ, אָמַר: אֵיקוּם מִקַּמֵּי שְׁכִינָה דְּאָתְיָא. אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: אַשְׁרֵי מִי שֶׁלֹּא חֲמָאָן. רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן כִּי עִבְּרַתּוּ אִמּוֹ – מֵת אָבִיו, יְלָדַתּוּ – מֵתָה אִמּוֹ. וְכֵן אַבָּיֵי. אִינִי? וְהָאָמַר אַבָּיֵי: אֲמַרָה לִי אֵם! הָהִיא מְרַבְּיָנְתֵּיהּ הֲוַאי.

**William Davidson Edition - English:**
**When Rav Yosef heard his mother’s footsteps, he** would **say: I will stand before the arriving Divine Presence. Rabbi Yoḥanan said: Fortunate is one who never saw** his father and mother, as it is so difficult to honor them appropriately. The Gemara relates that **Rabbi Yoḥanan** himself never saw his parents. **When his mother was pregnant with him, his father died;** and when **she gave birth to him, his mother died. And the same** is true of **Abaye.** The Gemara asks: **Is that so,** that Abaye never saw his mother? **But didn’t Abaye say** on many occasions: **My mother told me?** The Gemara answers: **That** mother **was** actually **his foster mother,** not his birth mother.


###### Kiddushin 31b:7
[Kiddushin 31b:7](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kiddushin/r/31b:7)

רַב אַסִּי הֲוָה לֵיהּ הָהִיא אִמָּא זְקֵינָה. אֲמַרָה לֵיהּ: בָּעֲיָנָא תַּכְשִׁיטִין. עֲבַד לַהּ. בָּעֲיָנָא גַּבְרָא: נְיעַיֵּין לָךְ. בָּעֲיָנָא גַּבְרָא דְּשַׁפִּיר כְּוָתָךְ, שַׁבְקַהּ וַאֲזַל לְאַרְעָא דְיִשְׂרָאֵל.

**William Davidson Edition - English:**
**Rav Asi had an elderly mother. She said to him: I want jewelry,** and **he made** jewelry **for her.** She said to him: **I want a man** whom I can marry, and he said to her: **I will seek** one **for you.** She said to him: **I want a husband who is as handsome as you.** At this point, he realized that she was senile, and that he would be unable to fulfill all her requests. Therefore, **he left her and went to Eretz Yisrael.**


###### Kiddushin 31b:8
[Kiddushin 31b:8](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kiddushin/r/31b:8)

שְׁמַע דְּקָא אָזְלָה אַבָּתְרֵיהּ. אֲתָא לְקַמֵּיהּ דְּרַבִּי יוֹחָנָן, אֲמַר לֵיהּ: מַהוּ לָצֵאת מֵאֶרֶץ לְחוּצָה לָאָרֶץ? אֲמַר לֵיהּ: אָסוּר. לִקְרַאת אִמָּא מַהוּ? אֲמַר לֵיהּ: אֵינִי יוֹדֵעַ. אִתָּרַח פּוּרְתָּא, הֲדַר אֲתָא. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: אַסִּי, נִתְרַצֵּיתָ לָצֵאת – הַמָּקוֹם יַחֲזִירְךָ לְשָׁלוֹם.

**William Davidson Edition - English:**
Rav Asi **heard that she was following him** to Eretz Yisrael. **He came before Rabbi Yoḥanan** and **said to him: What is** the *halakha* with regard to **leaving Eretz** Yisrael to go **outside of Eretz** Yisrael? Rabbi Yoḥanan **said to him:** It is **prohibited.** Rav Asi further asked: If one is going **to greet** his **mother, what is** the *halakha*? Rabbi Yoḥanan **said to him: I do not know.** Rav Asi **waited a little** while, and **then came** back to him. Rabbi Yoḥanan **said to him: Asi, you are** evidently **determined to leave.** May **the Omnipresent return you in peace,** and he said no more.


###### Kiddushin 31b:9
[Kiddushin 31b:9](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kiddushin/r/31b:9)

אֲתָא לְקַמֵּיהּ דְּרַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, דִּלְמָא מִירְתָּח רָתַח? אֲמַר לֵיהּ: מַאי אֲמַר לָךְ? אֲמַר לֵיהּ: הַמָּקוֹם יַחֲזִירְךָ לְשָׁלוֹם. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: וְאִם אִיתָא דְּרָתַח – לָא הֲוָה מְבָרֵךְ לֵךְ. אַדְּהָכִי וְהָכִי שְׁמַע לַאֲרוֹנַאּ דְּקָאָתֵי. אָמַר: אִי יְדַעִי לָא נְפַקִי.

**William Davidson Edition - English:**
Rav Asi **came before Rabbi Elazar,** because he did not know how to interpret Rabbi Yoḥanan’s statement. **He said to** Rabbi Elazar: **God forbid, perhaps** he **is angry** with me that I wished to leave? Rabbi Elazar **said to him: What** exactly **did he say to you?** Rav Asi **said to him:** May **the Omnipresent return you in peace.** Rabbi Elazar **said to him: If it is so that he was angry, he would not have blessed you.** Rabbi Yoḥanan certainly gave you permission to leave. **In the meantime,** while he was traveling to meet her, Rav Asi **heard that her coffin was coming,** i.e., his mother had died and her coffin was being brought to Eretz Yisrael. **He said: Had I known I would not have left,** as after his mother’s death he was not obligated to leave Eretz Yisrael to honor her.


###### Kiddushin 31b:10
[Kiddushin 31b:10](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kiddushin/r/31b:10)

תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: מְכַבְּדוֹ בְּחַיָּיו, וּמְכַבְּדוֹ בְּמוֹתוֹ. בְּחַיָּיו כֵּיצַד? הַנִּשְׁמָע בִּדְבַר אָבִיו לְמָקוֹם, לֹא יֹאמַר: ״שַׁלְּחוּנִי בִּשְׁבִיל עַצְמִי״, ״מַהֲרוּנִי בִּשְׁבִיל עַצְמִי״, ״פִּטְרוּנִי בִּשְׁבִיל עַצְמִי״. אֶלָּא כּוּלְּהוּ: ״בִּשְׁבִיל אַבָּא״.

**William Davidson Edition - English:**
**The Sages taught: One honors** his father **in his life and honors him in his death. How** does he honor him **in his life? One who goes to a place on the command of his father should not say** to the people to whom he has been sent, to hurry them along: **Send me** on my journey **on my own behalf,** or: **Hurry up on my own behalf,** or: **Allow me** to **take leave** of this business **on my own behalf. Rather,** he should say **all** of the above in the following manner: Act in this manner **on Father’s behalf,** as a mark of respect for his father.


###### Kiddushin 31b:11
[Kiddushin 31b:11](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kiddushin/r/31b:11)

בְּמוֹתוֹ כֵּיצַד? הָיָה אוֹמֵר דָּבָר שְׁמוּעָה מִפִּיו, לֹא יֹאמַר: ״כָּךְ אָמַר אַבָּא״, אֶלָּא: ״כָּךְ אָמַר אַבָּא מָרִי, הֲרֵינִי כַּפָּרַת מִשְׁכָּבוֹ״. וְהָנֵי מִילֵּי תּוֹךְ שְׁנֵים עָשָׂר חֹדֶשׁ, מִכָּאן וְאֵילָךְ אוֹמֵר: ״זִכְרוֹנוֹ לִבְרָכָה לְחַיֵּי הָעוֹלָם הַבָּא״.

**William Davidson Edition - English:**
**How** does he honor him **in his death?** If **he says a matter he heard from his** father’s **mouth, he should not say: So said Father. Rather,** he should say: **So said Father, my teacher, may I be an atonement for his resting** soul. **And this** *halakha* **applies within twelve months** of his death. **From this** time **onward he says: May his memory be for a blessing, for the life of the World-to-Come.**


###### Kiddushin 31b:12
[Kiddushin 31b:12](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kiddushin/r/31b:12)

תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: חָכָם – מְשַׁנֶּה שֵׁם אָבִיו וְשֵׁם רַבּוֹ. תּוּרְגְּמָן – אֵינוֹ מְשַׁנֶּה לֹא שֵׁם אָבִיו וְלֹא שֵׁם רַבּוֹ. אֲבוּהּ דְּמַאן? אִילֵימָא אֲבוּהּ דִּמְתוּרְגְּמָן – אַטּוּ תּוּרְגְּמָן לָאו בַּר חִיּוּבָא הוּא?

**William Davidson Edition - English:**
**The Sages taught: A Sage** who lectures in public must **change the name of his father,** i.e., when he quotes his father he should not mention him by name. **And** similarly, he changes the **name of his teacher. The disseminator,** who explains the statements of a Sage to the audience, **changes neither the name of his father nor the name of his teacher.** The Gemara asks: To **whose father** is this referring? **If we say** it is referring to **the father of the disseminator,** whom the Sage mentioned in his lecture, **is that to say** that **the disseminator is not obligated** to observe the mitzva of honoring one’s father? How can a disseminator mention his own father by name?


###### Kiddushin 31b:13
[Kiddushin 31b:13](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kiddushin/r/31b:13)

אֶלָּא אָמַר רָבָא: שֵׁם אָבִיו שֶׁל חָכָם, וְשֵׁם רַבּוֹ שֶׁל חָכָם. כִּי הָא דְּמָר בַּר רַב אָשֵׁי כִּי הֲוָה דָּרֵישׁ בְּפִירְקָא, אִיהוּ אָמַר: אַבָּא מָרִי, וְאָמוֹרֵיהּ אָמַר: הָכִי אָמַר רַב אָשֵׁי.

**William Davidson Edition - English:**
**Rather, Rava said:** This is referring to the **name of the Sage’s father and the name of the Sage’s teacher.** This is **like that which Mar bar Rav Ashi** would do, as **when he would teach** Torah **at his regular lecture** and would mention a *halakha* in the name of his father, Rav Ashi, **he would say:** So said **my father, my teacher; and his disseminator** would **say: So said Rav Ashi.** Although a son may not mention his father’s name, the disseminator of his lecture may do so.


###### Kiddushin 31b:14
[Kiddushin 31b:14](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kiddushin/r/31b:14)

תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: אֵיזֶהוּ מוֹרָא וְאֵיזֶהוּ כִּיבּוּד? מוֹרָא – לֹא עוֹמֵד בִּמְקוֹמוֹ, וְלֹא יוֹשֵׁב בִּמְקוֹמוֹ, וְלֹא סוֹתֵר אֶת דְּבָרָיו, וְלֹא מַכְרִיעוֹ. כִּיבּוּד – מַאֲכִיל וּמַשְׁקֶה, מַלְבִּישׁ וּמְכַסֶּה, מַכְנִיס וּמוֹצִיא.

**William Davidson Edition - English:**
**The Sages taught: What is fear and what is honor? Fear** of one’s father includes the following: **One may not stand in his** father’s fixed **place, and may not sit in his place, and may not contradict his statements** by expressing an opinion contrary to that of his father, **and he may not choose sides** when his father argues with someone else. What is considered **honor? He gives** his father **food and drink, dresses and covers** him, and **brings** him **in and takes** him **out** for all his household needs.


###### Kiddushin 31b:15
[Kiddushin 31b:15](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kiddushin/r/31b:15)

אִיבַּעְיָא לְהוּ:

**William Davidson Edition - English:**
**A dilemma was raised before** the Sages: