## Kitzur Shulchan Arukh Siman 149

###### Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:1
[Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:1](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kitzur%20Shulchan%20Arukh/r/149:1)

קֹדֶם בִּרְכַּת הַמָּזוֹן בַּעֲשָׂרָה אוֹמֵר הַמְבָרֵךְ, דְוַי הָסֵר וְכוּ'. וְאוֹמְרִים שֶׁהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ. וְיֵשׁ לוֹמַר, שֶׁאָכַלְנוּ מִשֶּלוֹ בְּלֹא וָא"ו, וְלֹא וְשֶׁאָכַלְנוּ מִשֶּׁלוֹ. וְאַחַר בִּרְכַּת הַמָּזוֹן לוֹקֵחַ כּוֹס שֵׁנִי וְאוֹמֵר עָלָיו שֵׁשׁ בְּרָכוֹת, וְאַחַר כָּךְ מְבָרֵךְ עַל הַכּוֹס שֶל בִּרְכַּת הַמָּזוֹן בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָפֶן. וְטוֹב שֶׁלֹּא לְמַלֹאת אֶת הַכּוֹס לְשֵׁשׁ הַבְּרָכוֹת עַד לְאַחַר בִּרְכַּת הַמָּזוֹן. צְרִיכִין לִזָּהֵר שֶׁלֹּא יֹאכְלוּ אֲנָשִׁים וְנָשִׁים בְּחֶדֶּר אֶחָד. שֶׁאִם אוֹכְלִים אֲנָשִׁים וְנָשִׁים בְּחֶדֶר אֶחָד, אֵין אוֹמְרִים שֶהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ, כִּי אֵין שִׂמְחָה כְּשֶיֵצֶר הָרַע שׁוֹלֵט.

**Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, trans. Rabbi Avrohom Davis, Metsudah Pub., 1996:**
Before saying *Birkas Hamazon*, in the company of ten adult males, the leader says *Dvai Hoser* etc. (banish sorrow etc.), and *Shehasimcha bimono* (In Whose abode is joy). *Sheachalnu mishelo* (We have eaten of His bounty) is said without the letter *vav* as a conjunction, and not *vesheachalnu mishelo*. After concluding the *Birkas Hamazon* the leader takes a second cup (of wine) over which he recites six *berachos*. After this, he says over the (first cup), which is the cup of *Birkas Hamazon*, the berachah *Borei peri Hagaffen* (Creator of the fruit of the vine). It is best not to fill the cup for the six *berachos* until the conclusion of *Birkas Hamazon*. Care should be taken that men and women should not eat [together] in one room, for if men and women eat [together] in one room *Shehasimcha Bimono* cannot be said, because there is no joy [in the Heavens] where the evil inclination reigns.


###### Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:2
[Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:2](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kitzur%20Shulchan%20Arukh/r/149:2)

בָּחוּר שֶנָּשָׂא בְתוּלָה אוֹ אַלְמָנָה, וְכֵן אַלְמָן שֶנָּשָׂא בְתוּלָה, מְבָרְכִין כֵּן בַּסְּעוּדָה הָרִאשׁוֹנָה שֶׁאַחֲרֵי הַנִּשּׂוּאִין, אֲפִלוּ לֹא אֲכָלוּהָ בַיוֹם, רַק בַּלַיְלָה שֶׁלְּאַחַר יוֹם הַנִּשׂוּאִין, אוֹ אֲפִלוּ בַּיּוֹם שֶׁלְּאַחֲרָיו, (מִשּׁוּם דְּהַסְּעוּדָה הָרִאֹשוֹנָה הֲוֵי כְּפָנִים חֲדָשׁוֹת). אֲבָל אַחַר הַסְּעוּדָה הָרִאשׁוֹנָה, וְכֵן בְּכָל שִׁבְעַת יְמֵי הַמִּשְׁתֶּה, אִם בָּאוּ פָּנִים חֲדָשׁוֹת, מְבָרְכִין כֵּן.

**Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, trans. Rabbi Avrohom Davis, Metsudah Pub., 1996:**
If a young man [one who was never married] married a virgin or a widow, or if a widower married a virgin, the above mentioned *berachos* are said after the first meal following the wedding, even if they did not eat it on that day, but only at night following the day of the wedding, or even on the following day (because the first meal is considered as if new guests are participating). But after this first meal, and during the entire seven days of the wedding week, only if new guests come to participate is *Birkas Hamazon* recited in this manner.


###### Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:3
[Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:3](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kitzur%20Shulchan%20Arukh/r/149:3)

וּכְשֶׁאֵין פָּנִים חֲדָשׁוֹת, אִם סוֹעֲדִים עִם הֶחָתָן אֲנָשִׁים שֶׁאֵינָם מִבְּנֵי בֵיתוֹ מֵחֲמַת שִׂמְחַת מֵרֵעוּת, אֵין אוֹמְרִים דְוַי הָסֵר וְכוּ', וְאוֹמְרִים נוֹדֶה לְשִׁמְךָ וְכוּ', וְהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ. וְאַחַר בִּרְכַּת הַמָּזוֹן, לוֹקֵחַ כּוֹס שֵׁנִי וְאוֹמֵר בִּרְכַּת אֲשֶׁר בָּרָא שָׂשׂוֹן וְשִׂמְחָה וְכוּ', וְאַחַר כָּךְ לוֹקֵחַ הַכּוֹס שֶׁל בִּרְכַּת הַמָּזוֹן וְאוֹמֵר עָלָיו בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּפֶן, וְלָזֶה אֵינוֹ צָרִיךְ עֲשָׂרָה, רַק גַּם בִּשְׁלֹשָה, מְבָרְכִין. אֲבָל אִם אֵינוֹ סוֹעֵד רַק עִם בְּנֵי בֵיתוֹ לְבָד, אֵינוֹ אוֹמֵר כְּלוּם מִזֶּה.

**Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, trans. Rabbi Avrohom Davis, Metsudah Pub., 1996:**
When a new guest does not come to participate, and the men dining with the groom are not members of his family, but come to celebrate as friends, *Dvai Hoser* is not said, but *nodeh leshimecha* is said as well as *shehasimcha bimono*. After concluding *Birkas Hamazon*, the leader takes a second cup, and recites the berachah *asher bara sassone vesimcha* etc. After that he again takes the cup that was used for *Birkas Hamazon*, and recites over it *Borei peri Haggafen*. For this ten men are not necessary, and even the presence of three is sufficient for saying *Birkas Hamazon* in this manner. However, if the groom eats only with family members, these things are not said.


###### Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:4
[Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:4](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kitzur%20Shulchan%20Arukh/r/149:4)

אַלְמָן שֶנָּשָׂא אַלְמָנָה, אִם אָכְלוּ סְעוּדָה הָרִאשׁוֹנָה בְּיּוֹם הַנִּשׂוּאִין, אַף עַל פִּי שֶנִּמְשְׁכָה הַסְּעוּדָה גַּם בַּלַּיְלָה, מְבָרְכִין, כְּמוֹ שֶכָּתַבְתִּי בְּסָעִיף א. אֲבָל אִם לֹא אָכְלוּ עַד הַלַּיְלָה, אִי אִיכָּא אֲנָשִׁים שֶׁאוֹכְלִים מֵחֲמַת שִׂמְחַת מֵרֵעוּת, מְבָרְכִין, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתַבְתִּי בְּסָעִיף ג (וַאֲפִלוּ אִיכָּא פָּנִים חֲדָשׁוֹת), וְכֵן בְּכָל הַסְּעוּדוֹת שְׁלֹשָׁה הַיָמִים הָרִאשׁוֹנִים.

**Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, trans. Rabbi Avrohom Davis, Metsudah Pub., 1996:**
When a widower marries a widow, if they ate the first meal on the day of the wedding, even if the meal lasted into the night, *Birkas Hamazon* is recited as stated in paragraph 1. But if they did not begin the meal until nightfall, if there are men dining [with them] to celebrate as friends, *Birkas Hamazon* should be recited as stated in paragraph 3. (This is true even if there is a new guest participating.) This applies to all the meals during the first three days (after the wedding).


###### Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:5
[Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:5](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kitzur%20Shulchan%20Arukh/r/149:5)

פָּנִים חֲדָשׁוֹת מִקְּרֵי, אִם בָּא לְשָׁם אָדָם מֵחֲמַת שִׂמְחַת מֵרֵעוּת, וְרוֹצִים לְהַרְבּוֹת בִּשְׁבִילוֹ, וְאַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאֵינוֹ אוֹכֵל. שַׁבָּת וְיוֹם טוֹב רִאשׁוֹן וְיוֹם טוֹב שֵׁנִי, הֲוֵי כְּפָנִים חֲדָשׁוֹת. וְדַוְקָא סְעוּדַת הַלַיְלָה וּסְעוּדַת שַׁחֲרִית. אֲבָל סְעוּדָה שְׁלִישִׁית, לֹא הֲוֵי כְּפָנִים חֲדָשׁוֹת, אֶלָּא אִם הֶחָתָן דּוֹרֵשׁ.

**Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, trans. Rabbi Avrohom Davis, Metsudah Pub., 1996:**
The term "new guest" applies to a person who has come to celebrate as a friend, and for whom they want to prepare extra food even though he does not eat (with them). Shabbos, the first day Yom Tov and the second day Yom Tov are considered as new guests. But this applies only to the meal at night and the meal in the morning, but the third meal is not considered as a new guest unless the groom expounds on a Torah topic.


###### Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:6
[Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:6](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kitzur%20Shulchan%20Arukh/r/149:6)

אִם אָדָם מַזְמִין אֶת הֶחָתָן וְאֶת הַכַּלָּה לֶאֱכֹל שָׁם, אִם מְיַחֲדִין לָהֶם שָׁם חֶדֶר בִּפְנֵי עַצְמָם, שֶׁיְכוֹלִין לִהְיוֹת בְּיַחַד לְבַד וְלִשְׂמֹחַ שָׁם, הֲוֵי שָׁם כְּמוֹ חֻפָּה דִדְהוּ וּמְבָרְכִין שָׁם שֶׁבַע בְּרָכוֹת. וְאִם לָאו, אֵין מְבָרְכִין אֲפִלּוּ אֲשֶׁר בָּרָא וְכוּ', וְשֶׁהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ.

**Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, trans. Rabbi Avrohom Davis, Metsudah Pub., 1996:**
If one invites the groom and the bride to dine with him, and he assigns a private room for them where they can be alone and rejoice together, it is considered as [a part of] their wedding and the seven *berachos* are recited. But if this is not the case, even the beracha *asher bara* is not recited, (nor do we say) *shehasimcha bimono*.


###### Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:7
[Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:7](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kitzur%20Shulchan%20Arukh/r/149:7)

בְּנֵי הַחֻפָּה שֶׁנֶּחְלְקוּ לַחֲבוּרוֹת הַרְבֵּה, אֲפִלּוּ לְבָתִּים שֶׁאֵינָם פְּתוּחִים לַמָּקוֹם שֶׁהֶחָתָן שָׁם, מִכָּל מָקוֹם מְבָרְכִים בְּכָל חֲבוּרָה וַחֲבוּרָה בְּרָכוֹת אֵלּוּ, כֵּיוָן שֶׁאוֹכְלִים מִסְּעוּדָה שֶהִתְקִינוּ לַחֻפָּה. אֲבָל הַשַׁמָּשִׁים הָאוֹכְלִים אַחַר סְעוּדַת נִשֹּוּאִין, אֵין מְבָרְכִין בְּרָכוֹת אֵלּוּ.

**Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, trans. Rabbi Avrohom Davis, Metsudah Pub., 1996:**
When the wedding guests break up into many groups [to feast], even in houses that do not face the place of the groom. Nevertheless, each group recites these (seven) *berachos*, since they are eating from the feast that was prepared for the wedding. However, the waiters, who eat after the wedding feast is over, do not recite these *berachos*.¹ (*Even Ha’ezer* 62:9). But the *Shulchan Aruch* rules that they should recite the *berachos*.

footnotes:
¹ Taz


###### Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:8
[Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:8](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kitzur%20Shulchan%20Arukh/r/149:8)

מַחֲזִיר גְּרוֹּשָתוֹ, אֵין אוֹמְרִים שֶהַשִׂמְחָה בִמְעוֹנוֹ. וּבַסְּעוּדָה הָרִאשׁוֹנָה בְּיוֹם הַנִּשׂוּאִין, אוֹמְרִים שֶׁבַע בְּרָכוֹת, וּמִכָּאן וְאֵילַךְ אֵין אוֹמְרִים כְּלוּם.

**Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, trans. Rabbi Avrohom Davis, Metsudah Pub., 1996:**
When one remarries his divorced wife, *shehasimcha bimono* is omitted. At the first meal on the wedding day the seven *berachos* are recited.². *Mishpat Shalom* in the name of *Rav Hai Gaon* rules that even under their *chupah* the seven *berachos* are not recited. But from then on none of the *berachos* are said.³

footnotes:
² Radvaz
³ This is the law when a widower marries a widow.


###### Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:9
[Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:9](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kitzur%20Shulchan%20Arukh/r/149:9)

מִצְוָה לְשַׂמֵחַ חָתָן וְכַלָּה וְלִרְקֹד לְפָנֶיהָ וְלוֹמַר, שֶׁהִיא נָאָה וַחֲסוּדָה (מִלָּשׁוֹן וַתִּשָּא חֵן וָחֶסֶד לְפָנָיו). וּמָצִינוּ, שֶׁרַבִּי יְהוּדָה בַּר אִלְעַי הָיָה מְרַקֵּד לִפְנֵי הַכַּלָה.

**Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, trans. Rabbi Avrohom Davis, Metsudah Pub., 1996:**
It is a mitzvah to rejoice the groom and bride, and to dance before her and say that she is beautiful and gracious, (from the expression, "She found grace and favour before him");⁴ 2:17. and we find that Rabbi Yehuda Bar Illai used to dance before the bride.⁵

footnotes:
⁴ Esther
⁵ Maseches Kesubos 17a.


###### Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:10
[Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:10](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kitzur%20Shulchan%20Arukh/r/149:10)

אָסוּר לְהִסְתַּכֵּל בַּכַּלָה, אֲבָל מֻתָּר לְהִסְתַּכֵּל בַּתַּכְשִׁיטִין שֶעָלֶיהָ וּבִפְרִיעַת רֹאשָׁהּ.

**Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, trans. Rabbi Avrohom Davis, Metsudah Pub., 1996:**
It is forbidden to stare at the bride, but you are allowed to look at her jewelry, and at her uncovered hair.


###### Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:11
[Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:11](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kitzur%20Shulchan%20Arukh/r/149:11)

יֵשׁ נוֹהֲגִין, שֶׁאִם הַכַּלָּה הָיְתָה טְמֵאָה בִּשְׁעַת הַנִּשֹּוּאִין, אָז אַחַר כָּךְ בְּלֵיל טְבִילָתָהּ עוֹשִֹין סְעוּדָה וּמַזְמִינִים גַּם אֲנָֹשִים אֲחֵרִים. וְאֵין זֶה נָכוֹן. וְיֵֹש לְבַטֵּל מִנְהָג זֶה, מִשׁוּם צְנִיעוּת. אַךְ אִם עוֹשִׂים עוֹשִׂים קְצָת סְעוּדָה לְאַנְשֵׁי הַבַּיִת וְאוֹמְרִים שֶׁהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ, אֵין לִמְחוֹת. אֲבָל שֶׁבַע בְּרָכוֹת, אָסוּר לְבָרֵךְ, רַק בְאֹפֶן שֶׁנִּתְבָּאֵר לְעֵיל (עַיֵן תְֹּשוּבָה מֵאַהֲבָה חֵלֶק רִאֹשוֹן סִימָן סב)

**Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, trans. Rabbi Avrohom Davis, Metsudah Pub., 1996:**
Some people have a custom that if the bride was menstrually unclean at the time of the wedding, then afterwards, on the night of her ritual immersion, they make a feast and invite guests. This is improper, and this custom should be abolished because it is a breach of modesty. But if they make a small feast for the household and they say *shehasimcha bimono*, one need not protest. But the seven *berachos* must not be said, other than in the manner described above.⁶

footnotes:
⁶ Only during the seven days of the feast.


###### Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:12
[Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:12](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kitzur%20Shulchan%20Arukh/r/149:12)

הַנּוֹשֵֹא בְתוּלָה, צָרִיךְ לִשְׂמֹחַ עִמָהּ שִבְעָה יָמִים, וְנִקְרָאִים שִׁבְעַת יְמֵי מִשְׁתֶּה. לֹא יַעֲשֶׂה מְלָאכָה, וְלֹא יִשָּׂא וְיִתֵּן בַּשּׁוּק, אֶלָּא אוֹכֵל וְשׁוֹתֶה וְשָׂמֵחַ עִמָּהּ, בֵּין אִם הוּא בָחוּר אוֹ אַלְמָן. וַאֲפִלּוּ הִיא מוֹחֶלֶת, מִכָּל מָקוֹם אָסוּר בַּעֲשִׂיַת מְלָאכָה. וְאָסוּר לָצֵאת יְחִידִי בַשּׁוּק. וְהַנּוֹשֵׂא בְעוּלָה, אִם הוּא אַלְמָן, לְכֻלֵּי עָלְמָא אֵינוֹ צָרִיךְ שִׂמְחָה אֶלָּא שְלשָׁה יָמִים. וְאִם הוּא בָחוּר, יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּצָרִיךְ לִשְׂמוֹחַ עִמָּהּ שִׁבְעָה יָמִים, כֵּיוָן שֶׁמְּבָרְכִין בִּשְׁבִילוֹ שֶׁבַע בְּרָכוֹת. וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם בָּזֶה אִשָּׁה יְכוֹלָה לִמְחֹל עַל שִׂמְחָתָהּ (חָתָן שֶׁחָלָה תַּעֲנִית צִבּוּר בְּשִׁבְעַת יְמֵי הַמִּשְׁתֶּה שֶׁלּוֹ, עַיֵן לְעֵיל סִימָן קכא סָעִיף ז וְסִימָן קמא סָעִיף ב).

**Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, trans. Rabbi Avrohom Davis, Metsudah Pub., 1996:**
One who marries a virgin must rejoice with her for seven days, which are called "The seven days of feasting." (During this time) he should not do work, and should not do business in the marketplace; but should eat and drink and rejoice with her regardless if he was a bachelor or a widower. Even if she waives this right he is still forbidden to do work. He is forbidden to go alone in the street. If one marries a previously married woman, if he is a widower, all authorities agree he need not rejoice more than three days. If he was never married, some authorities rule that he must rejoice with her seven days since because of him they recite the seven *berachas*. Nevertheless, in this case the woman may waive her right to be rejoiced.⁷ 62:. This applies to his being allowed to do work also. If a public fast occurs during "The seven days of feasting" see chapter 121:7 and chapter 141:2.

footnotes:
⁷ Ramah


###### Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:13
[Kitzur Shulchan Arukh 149:13](https://torahapp.org/share/book/Kitzur%20Shulchan%20Arukh/r/149:13)

הַנּוֹשֵׂא אִשָּׁה, צָרִיךְ לַעֲמוֹד בְּעִירוֹ שָׁנָה תְמִימָה לִשְׂמוֹחַ עִמָּהּ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר, לֹא יֵצֵא בַצָבָא וְגוֹ' נָקִי יִהְיֶה לְבֵיתוֹ שָׁנָה אֶחָת וְשִׂמַּח אֶת אִשְׁתּוֹ. אֲבָל הָאִשָּׁה, יְכוֹלָה לִמְחוֹל.

**Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, trans. Rabbi Avrohom Davis, Metsudah Pub., 1996:**
One who takes a wife to himself must remain in his city a full year to rejoice with her; as it is said, "He shall not go out with the army; he shall be free for his home one year, and he shall cheer his wife."⁸ 24:5. But the woman can waive this right.

footnotes:
⁸ Deuteronomy