Because the virtue of derech eretz (proper conduct) is an exceedingly important and precious quality among people, and it is a comprehensive virtue that encompasses all other spiritual and physical character traits, drawing them along with it and branching out into many directions like branches and offshoots, I therefore placed it later and wrote about it after all the other virtues, except for the virtue of peace, which I placed and wrote about at the very end of the entire book, in order to complete it and seal it with peace.

And in discussing this virtue I mentioned a little from all the other virtues written in this book, and I wrote it briefly so that if it is difficult for a person to study the entire book regularly, he may read this virtue and through it remember what is contained in the other virtues. If I had written for you no other virtue besides this virtue of derech eretz, it alone would have been sufficient for you in the conduct of both this world and the World to Come. Therefore, my children, set your hearts upon it and study it constantly. And you should review this entire book once or twice each year, and it will benefit you, with the help of God.

My children, come and I will teach you the virtue of derech eretz. Know, my children, that the virtue of derech eretz is an exceedingly important trait, and through it a person acquires life in this world and life in the World to Come. Not only that, but through derech eretz a person acquires Torah, wisdom, commandments, fear of Heaven, and good deeds. For our Sages of blessed memory said: If there is no Torah, there is no derech eretz; if there is no derech eretz, there is no Torah. If there is no wisdom, there is no fear; if there is no fear, there is no wisdom. If there is no knowledge, there is no understanding; if there is no understanding, there is no knowledge. If there is no flour, there is no Torah; if there is no Torah, there is no flour.

My children, all of you come and learn the virtue of derech eretz (proper conduct). Know, my children, that the virtue of derech eretz is exceedingly beloved before the Holy One, blessed be He, for the order and settlement of the world exist only through derech eretz. Anyone who does not possess derech eretz is worth nothing, but is like the wild animals of the desert, as it is said: “Man is born like a wild donkey.” Our Sages said that anyone who is not engaged in Scripture, Mishnah, or derech eretz is not part of civilized society. But one who upholds all three, about him the verse says: “A threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

My children, go out and see how beloved derech eretz is before the Holy One, blessed be He, for the Holy One preceded derech eretz before the Torah. As it is taught in the school of Eliyahu: “And He drove out the man, and He placed at the east of the Garden of Eden the cherubim and the flaming sword which turned every way to guard the way to the Tree of Life.” “And He drove out the man” teaches that the Holy One gave him a form of dismissal like a husband gives a wife. “And He placed at the east of the Garden of Eden the cherubim” teaches that the cherubim preceded the acts of creation. “The flaming sword that turns” refers to Gehinnom. “To guard the way”, this refers to derech eretz. “The Tree of Life”, this refers to the Torah, as it is said: “She is a tree of life to those who hold fast to her.” From this you learn that derech eretz is beloved before the Holy One, blessed be He, because He placed it before the Torah.

The virtue of derech eretz is beloved before the Holy One, for whenever a person possesses derech eretz, the Holy One and people take pride in him, and even the Torah takes pride in him. Whoever possesses derech eretz together with Torah adorns the Torah and perfects its students, and such a person becomes accepted and honored among people, and people draw close to him because of the derech eretz within him. But one who lacks derech eretz cannot live peacefully among people, because his deeds are not accepted and his words are not listened to, and people distance themselves greatly from him. Even if he is a hundred years old, he is considered like a youth behaving immaturely. A person is not accepted by others through Torah, good deeds, fear of Heaven, wisdom, or understanding alone if derech eretz is not mixed with them.

Derech eretz means that a person should reflect in his heart about the paths he should follow in order to be pleasing before God and before people, as King David, peace be upon him, said: “I considered my ways and turned my feet to Your testimonies.” David said: Every path I wished to walk and every act I wished to perform, I would consider before doing it, whether it was good and upright in the eyes of God and in the eyes of people. If it appeared good and proper, I followed it; if it seemed improper, I abandoned it. Every matter has two paths, and a person must choose the path that is upright before God and before people. “And I turned my feet to Your testimonies” means that it was not my own heart that chose the good path; rather, Your Torah taught me derech eretz and proper conduct so that I would be accepted before You and before all people, as it is said: “The testimony of the Lord is trustworthy, making the simple wise.”

My children, conduct yourselves with piety and fear of Heaven among people. Behave with humility, lowliness of spirit, and gentle speech. Do not deviate from the accepted customs of society, for whoever deviates is placed at a disadvantage. Seek the good of others, speak well of them, and imitate the actions of the righteous among them. Distinguish yourselves through your deeds and your words, in your eating and drinking, your clothing and appearance, your business dealings, your walking and sitting. Train yourselves in every good path and noble custom practiced by wise and good people, so that you will be accepted before God and before people.

Now I will briefly recall a small portion of each virtue mentioned in this book, for they all relate to fear of Heaven and derech eretz, so that you may become accustomed and diligent in them with the help of the Almighty.

My children, strive to know and recognize your Creator who created you from nothing and brought you into existence from nonexistence, who has bestowed upon you great goodness and continues to benefit you every day. The essence of knowing Him is to cleave to Him, walk in His ways, fulfill His commandments, and guard His statutes and judgments. Reason itself obligates this and derech eretz teaches it: if a human being like you did even one-thousandth of the kindness that the Creator has done for you, you would certainly feel obligated to know him, cling to him, and obey his wishes, how much more so toward the King of kings, the Holy One, blessed be He.

Likewise, you must serve your Creator out of love. Let all your actions and words be motivated by love of Him, not in order to receive reward or avoid punishment, but purely out of love. For the Holy One loves those who love Him and fulfills their will. Reason and derech eretz teach this as well: if a human being loves you deeply and seeks your good, you would naturally remain attached to him in love, how much more so to the King of kings, the Holy One, blessed be He. Love your fellow human beings as yourselves, for the Holy One loves Israel greatly, and therefore Moses warned Israel: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love also your wives, sons, and daughters, for they are your own flesh. Love Torah scholars especially, for Scripture commands reverence toward them. Love sincere converts, for the Torah warns repeatedly about them and God loves them.

Likewise, you must fear your Creator and observe all His commandments with reverence, for nothing is more precious before God than fear of Heaven, since it is placed entirely within human choice. Just as people fear to transgress the decrees of an earthly king, how much more should one fear the King of kings. Our Sages said: “Let all your deeds be for the sake of Heaven. Love Heaven, fear Heaven, tremble and rejoice in the commandments.” Sit before the elders, incline your ear to hear their words, listen carefully to your companions, and do not rush to answer. Reflect on matters properly, respond first to the first point and last to the last point. Admit the truth, and do not speak before someone greater than you in wisdom.

Honor and fear your father and mother who labored and raised you with the help of God. If you honor them, Heaven will honor you and you will merit life in the World to Come.

Engage in Torah day and night, for it is your life and the length of your days. Through it you will succeed in all your affairs and inherit life in this world and in the World to Come. Perform the commandments properly as explained by our Sages, for by doing so you will be saved from troubles in this world and merit the Garden of Eden in the next.

Show kindness to everyone you can, both to the poor and to the rich, to the living and to the dead, for this is one of the attributes of the Creator, blessed be He, who bestows kindness upon His creations. Distribute from your wealth to charity and share your bread with the poor, for the entire world stands by the merit of those who perform acts of kindness and charity. Our Sages taught in "Masechet Derech Eretz Rabbah": Love the poor so that your children will not come to such a condition. Love acts of kindness so that you will be saved from the angel of destruction. Let your house be open wide so that your sustenance will not be lacking. Be careful that the doors of your home are not closed when you sit to eat and drink, for the doors of one’s house can bring a person to poverty. Be careful to honor your wife so that she will not be barren. Rejoice in the afflictions that come upon you, for the sufferings that come upon you may save you from greater illnesses below. Rejoice at your table when the hungry benefit from it, so that you may lengthen your days in this world and in the World to Come. Rejoice in the gift that you give within your home so that the Angel of Death will be restrained from you, as it is said: “A gift given in secret appeases anger.” If a person holds himself back from a mitzvah and instead commits a sin, the Angel of Death hastens before him. But if you scatter your resources before the poor and for the sake of the commandments, the verse will be fulfilled for you: “Blessed shall you be when you come in, and blessed shall you be when you go out.” And it was taught in the school of Eliyahu: Those who are compassionate, who feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, and distribute charity, about them Scripture says: “Say of the righteous that it is good, for they shall eat the fruit of their deeds.”

Be careful and diligent to pray regularly in the synagogue with the congregation, to recite all the prayers at their proper times and in their proper order, and to read the Shema morning and evening at its appointed time so that the Holy One, blessed be He, will accept your prayers favorably, for prayer was established in place of the sacrifices. Our Sages taught in Masechet Derech Eretz: Be careful with the recitation of the Shema and with prayer so that you may be saved from the judgment of Gehinnom.

My children, love humility and choose lowliness, for the Holy One, blessed be He, loves the humble, the lowly, and those of a humble spirit. If you are humble and lowly of spirit, people will not envy you. Our Sages taught in Derech Eretz Rabbah: Love humility so that your days will be filled. They also taught at the beginning of Masechet Derech Eretz that the way of Torah scholars is to be humble and lowly in spirit, diligent and patient, beloved by all who know them, humble toward the members of their household, fearful of sin, and judging every person according to his deeds. They say: All that I have in this world I have no desire for, for this world is not truly mine. Such a person sits modestly before Torah scholars and no one sees any wrongdoing in him; he asks properly and answers according to the law. Whoever humbles himself will be elevated, and whoever elevates himself will be humbled, as it is said: “The low shall be raised and the high brought low.” It was also taught in the school of Eliyahu that those who demean themselves in their own eyes, who restrain their inclination and humble their spirit, about them Scripture says: “Thus says the Lord, the Redeemer of Israel… Kings shall see and arise, princes shall bow.” Concerning the poor and the humble of spirit it is said: “You shall decree a matter and it will be established for you, and light will shine upon your ways.”

Hate the trait of pride and arrogance, for pride is the garment of the Creator, and greatness belongs only to Him. It is a trait that is greatly despised both before God and before people, for people distance themselves greatly from the arrogant. Pride leads to many stumbling blocks, and those who possess it will not escape failure, as it is said: “Before destruction comes pride, and before a fall a haughty spirit.”

My children, love modesty, for whoever conducts himself modestly in his ways will not stumble in sin. The Holy One created the world with modesty and gave the Torah with modesty, and He greatly loves the modest and does not withhold their reward. Guard yourselves from immorality and from obscene speech, for they are evil agents and open gateways to sexual transgression. Anyone who speaks vulgar words deepens Gehinnom for himself, even if a decree of good had been sealed for seventy years, it may be turned to evil because of it.

My children, love the virtue of shame and hold firmly to it, for one who is ashamed does not quickly come to sin; he is saved from transgressions and merits the Garden of Eden. Our Sages taught in Masechet Derech Eretz: Do not say, “I will flatter this person so he will feed me, or flatter that person so he will give me drink or clothing.” It is better to feel ashamed before yourself than before others. Do not let your lips shame you, do not let your mouth disgrace you, do not let your tongue curse you, do not let your teeth embarrass you, and do not bow down to your own words.

Hate brazenness, for anyone who is brazen-faced inherits Gehinnom and is called wicked. Jerusalem was destroyed only because people were no longer ashamed before one another.

My children, choose the trait of faithfulness, for it is one of the attributes of the Creator. Whoever merits it will merit to sit in the presence of the Holy One, blessed be He. Moreover, wherever faithfulness is found, blessing and greatness are also found.

Hate robbery and theft, for the Holy One hates them. Anyone who steals or robs from his fellow is considered as though he had killed him. Whatever a person steals in this world will not leave this world with him until others plunder him in turn.

My children, love sincerity, for the Holy One desires the sincere. Anyone who walks sincerely with God and with people will be protected by the Holy One from sins and transgressions and his soul will be saved from the judgment of Gehinnom.

Hate deceit, for anyone who acts deceitfully with his fellow is known to be plotting evil against him, and in the end he will lie and deny him. Anyone who lies and denies the truth to his fellow is as though he denies the Holy One, who is truth.

My children, love compassion, for compassion is one of the attributes of the Creator. The world could not exist if the Holy One had not joined it with the attribute of mercy. Anyone who shows mercy to creatures brings goodness to the world, and Heaven shows mercy to him.

Hate cruelty, for anyone who acts cruelly toward others brings anger upon himself and upon the entire world, and the Holy One will repay him with cruelty.

My children, love the quality of being pleasing to others, for anyone who is accepted and beloved by people below, because he knows how to appease them with gentle words, will surely be accepted above as well. For whenever people are pleased with a person, God is pleased with him, and the Holy One elevates him to greatness and authority.

Hate anger, for anger removes a person’s understanding, and this trait is the mark of fools and simpletons. Anyone who becomes angry loses clarity of vision, and the evil inclination provokes him and causes him to sin.

My children, choose the virtue of a good name in the service of God, for the Holy One Himself sought to establish a good name in His world. A good name is greater than lineage and more precious than silver and gold. Hate the pursuit of reputation that comes through the vanities of this world, for it is disgraceful and removes a person from the world. Whenever someone seeks to increase his fame through worldly vanity, his name diminishes, for anyone who chases authority finds that authority flees from him.

My children, choose the inclination toward good, for it was created from the higher realms, from a place of purity and holiness, and it follows the nature of the soul. Happy is the one who strengthens his good inclination and returns his soul pure to its Owner just as it was given to the body. Rebuke the evil inclination and sacrifice it before the Creator so that it will not cause you to stumble, lead you into sin, or drive you away from the life of the World to Come, for the Holy One, blessed be He, created you righteous and upright; therefore do not enslave yourselves to the evil inclination in your hearts and do not listen to it.

My children, choose repentance, for it reaches up to the Throne of Glory, and the Holy One, blessed be He, receives those who repent, draws them close to Him, and seats them before Him. Strive to return in complete repentance before the Creator before calamities and evil afflictions arrive, for repentance and good deeds stand as a shield before misfortune. May the Omnipresent accept your repentance and forgive and pardon all your sins.

My children, choose the virtue of wisdom, for it is a gift given to a person by God. It brings a person to fear of Heaven and to wealth, honor, and life in this world, and to inheriting the life of the World to Come. It protects a person from sins and transgressions and saves him from the judgment of Gehinnom. Hate foolishness and ignorance, for the fool disgraces himself, his father, his mother, and all his family, wastes his wealth and his life in this world, and cuts off his soul from the World to Come.

My children, choose the virtue of wealth and strive to acquire possessions with honesty and integrity so that you may merit both this world and the World to Come, for the trait of poverty was created so that the wealthy may gain merit through it and be saved from the judgment of Gehinnom. Wealth is a gift given by God, and the rich person should not say, “My power and the strength of my hand made me this wealth,” for money has wings and flies in the heavens, today a person is rich, and tomorrow it has passed and gone.

My children, choose diligence, for a person was created to be quick and energetic in his work. The diligent person is appointed to serve kings and rulers, and whoever honors his work is honored by his work, and his possessions prosper. Hate laziness, for it is the trait of fools and the empty-hearted, and poverty is the sign of laziness.

My children, choose contentment, for it is the trait of the pious who are satisfied whether they have much or little. Whoever enjoys the fruit of his own labor and is satisfied with it acquires life in this world and the World to Come, finds peace and rest in this world, and does not fall into illness or heartache. Who is content? One who rejoices in the portion granted to him by God. Hate gluttony and drunkenness, for they are the traits of the wicked; their end is poverty, severe illness, and ultimately Gehinnom.

My children, choose generosity, for the world was not built until the Holy One joined it with generosity. Generosity shows noble character and piety. Hate stinginess, for the miser removes his trust from God and places it in his wealth; this is among the worst traits found among people. The evil eye is a terrible thing, equal to all illnesses; wherever it rules it consumes, and whoever casts an evil eye upon his fellow is as though he has killed him.

My children, love peace, for wherever peace is found, the fear of Heaven is found. Great is peace, for even those above require peace, how much more those below; even the dead require peace, how much more the living. Seek peace and pursue it, for the Holy One loves peace. From the beginning of creation He was engaged in creating something of peace, the light. Moreover, all blessings and consolations that God brings upon us are sealed with peace. Flee from dispute, for it is greatly hated by God; He forgave idolatry but did not overlook disputes. Even when making safeguards for commandments, distance yourselves from dispute, for conflict brings lashes and danger to life. Hate gossip and slander, for they drive a person from both this world and the World to Come. Whoever speaks slander is pushed by the Holy One into Gehinnom and hung by his tongue there, because it brings three great calamities to the world: dispute, idolatry, and exile. Whoever believes slanderers will be left without friends, even those who were once dear and close to him.

My children, do not boast about yourselves or elevate yourselves over others because of your virtues or because of Torah and good deeds that you possess. Rather humble yourselves and lower your spirit before every person and be like the lowest threshold upon which everyone treads and like a low peg upon which all things are hung.

My children, if Heaven forbid you are afflicted in body or in wealth, do not become angry or resentful toward the Creator. Instead justify the judgment and accept everything with love, remembering Job, who was afflicted in his body, his sons, his daughters, and his wealth, yet did not sin with his lips nor speak wrongly against God.

My children, do not follow after your hearts and your eyes, for they are two harmful agents for the body: the eye sees, the heart desires, and the body commits the sin. No limb causes more stumbling than the eyes. Remember Samson, who followed what his eyes saw and consider what became of him.

My children, do not sit with heretics nor argue with them about Torah, lest you be drawn after them and they bring you to disgrace in this world and inheritance of Gehinnom in the end.

My children, if others speak great evil about you, do not magnify it in your eyes; treat it as small so that you leave room for peace. But if you speak even a small wrong about another, do not say, “What did we say, what is the harm?” Rather treat it as something great until you go and appease them and reconcile with them fully.

My children, let your conduct be pleasant and your reputation good. Strive to increase your good reputation so that people will choose your companionship, cling to you, and draw near to you. Whoever has a bad reputation will find no friends, and people will distance themselves from him.

My children, love the Torah and honor it and its scholars, for whoever honors the Torah is himself honored by people, but whoever disgraces the Torah and does not honor it properly will himself be disgraced among people.

My children, if you see your friends longing for something in your possession, try to fulfill their desire and set aside your own will for theirs, as Rachel did for Leah. Yet set aside both your will and the will of your friends for the will of your Father in Heaven, as our forefather Jacob did when he did not kiss Joseph because he was reciting the Shema.

My children, do not inform on your friends in ways that could bring them harm, whether to their body or their wealth, for the tongue is judged first, and whoever informs on his fellow has no remedy. If you guard your mouths from slander, you will live all your days in peace.

My children, distance yourselves from anything disgraceful or resembling disgrace lest people suspect you of wrongdoing even when you are innocent, for whoever brings suspicion upon himself should not blame those who suspect him but blame himself.

My children, avoid causing people to complain about you, lest you come to complain about others and increase sin.

My children, if you wish to learn Torah, wisdom, or proper conduct, do not say about something you have not heard, “We have heard it.” If someone asks you something and you do not know it, do not be ashamed to say, “We do not know; teach it to us.”

My children, if you promise your friends something, strive to fulfill it so that you will be known as one who promises and performs, for regarding one who promises but does not fulfill it Scripture says: “They taught their tongue to speak lies.”

My children, love rebuke and acquire discipline, for they bring success in this world and inheritance in the World to Come.

My children, love every person according to his worth, and let your speech be gentle with everyone, for gentle speech softens the hard, humbles the proud, and turns enemies into friends.

My children, fear even a small sin lest it lead you to a greater one, for one sin leads to another. Run to perform even a small commandment, for one commandment leads to another.

My children, let the honor of your fellow be as dear to you as your own. Do not gain honor through another’s disgrace, for whoever honors himself through the shame of his fellow has no share in the World to Come.

My children, if you wish to be loved by people, conduct your business with honesty, justice, and integrity. Speak well of others and do not speak of their faults, and let your words be pleasant so that you will be beloved above and admired below.

My children, if you wish to avoid sin, consider its end, for just as sweet and pleasant as sin seems when committed, so bitter will it be in the end.

My children, perform the commandments out of love, and even if you perform many commandments, let them seem few in your eyes compared to your obligation.

My children, if you perform kindness, charity, and good deeds, do not say, “We gave from our own,” but remember that what you give was given to you from Heaven. Therefore give praise and thanks to the Creator who granted you goodness. If Heaven grants you even a small good, regard it as great; do not say it came because of your own righteousness but because of God’s mercy despite your shortcomings.

My children, if you do even a small wrong, regard it as great and say, “Woe to us that we have sinned.” But if Heaven sends you great suffering, regard it as small and say, “Almost all our debts have been removed, though far worse would have been deserved for our many sins.”

My children, think about your words before they leave your mouth, for once spoken they cannot be taken back, just as an archer cannot retrieve an arrow once it has been released.

My children, reflect on all your actions and conduct all your affairs with discipline and proper conduct. Always justify the divine judgment and remove complaint from your hearts.

My children, always judge others favorably and do not judge them harshly, for one who judges his fellow harshly breaks friendship and closes the doors of peace and opens the doors of rivalry and hatred. Heaven likewise judges him harshly; but one who judges others favorably is judged favorably from Heaven.

My children, rejoice in whatever good and wealth the Creator has granted you, even if it is little. Whoever rejoices in his portion is called rich even if he is poor, and whoever is not content with his portion is called poor even if he is wealthy.

My children, when a commandment comes to your hand do not weaken in performing it, for if you weaken in one commandment you will weaken in others.

My children, do not covet the wealth of your fellow nor set your eyes upon what is not yours, for if you take what is not yours, in the end others will take what is yours.

My children, do not become accustomed to making vows, for one who frequently makes vows will eventually violate oaths.

My children, avoid excessive dealings with women and frivolous behavior with them, for such conduct leads to immorality and ultimately Gehinnom.

My children, do not guarantee another’s debts unless you are prepared to repay from your own resources, for surety is a gateway to poverty.

My children, if you borrow money, safeguard it carefully so that the principal will not be lost and you will be able to repay it. If you lend money to others, do not be ashamed to request repayment, for one who is ashamed does not learn.

My children, sit among the wise and distance yourselves from sitting with fools, for a person’s honor or disgrace is determined by the company he keeps.

My children, do not be like the upper threshold that strikes the feet, nor like the middle threshold that eventually breaks; rather be like the lowest threshold that everyone steps on yet supports the entire building.

My children, if you see a person wiser than you, do not say, “Why is this man wiser than I?”, for it may be because you did not serve teachers like he did or devote yourselves to wisdom as he did. Therefore strive to acquire wisdom and discipline, for they are the eyes of a person that show him the good and upright path. Likewise, if you see people wealthier than you, do not envy them or say, “Why are these people richer than we are?” Wealth comes to a person from the Creator, or perhaps they were more diligent in their work and affairs than you were. And even if you had been more diligent than they, know, my children, that not every person merits both tables, this world and the World to Come. Perhaps those wealthy people have already received their reward in this world, while your reward is stored for you in the World to Come. Therefore do not question the will of the Creator. Likewise, if you see someone more handsome than you, of fine stature and appearance, do not envy him, for on the day of death you will all be equal and considered like a carcass; indeed, a carcass still benefits its owner through its hide, while from a human being no creature benefits at all.

My children, reflect on three things and you will never come to sinful thoughts or wrongdoing: know from where you came, where you are going, and before whom you will one day give judgment and account.

My children, do not let your ears hear idle talk, for such talk first corrupts the limbs; if you hear idle words from others, turn your ear away so that you will not hear them.

My children, let no theft, robbery, or evil thing be found in your hands, for all your limbs will testify against you.

My children, do not fear the earthly court, for its witnesses love money and may be appeased with it; rather fear the heavenly court, where if witnesses testify against you above, you cannot appease them with money, and accusations are proclaimed against you constantly. Our Sages taught in Masechet Derech Eretz: The Holy One, blessed be He, says, “If you perform My words with joy, My heavenly retinue will go out to greet you at dawn, and I Myself will come to meet you and say, ‘You have come in peace.’ Your eyes that did not covet what was not yours will shine for you in the darkness, as it is said: ‘Your light will shine in darkness.’ Your ears that did not listen to idle talk will listen to the life of the World to Come. Your mouth that did not speak slander will overcome those destined for destruction, and your mouth that labored in words of Torah will be blessed by all who bless. Your hands that were guarded from theft, what can the wicked do against them? Your hands that did not withhold charity, what can the wealthy do against them? Your feet that did not run to sin, what can the Angel of Death do to them?” These words I have set before you, do as you wish, so that you will not say you were not warned.

My children, love those who rebuke you, for they bring you to the life of the World to Come, and hate those who praise you, even for virtues you truly possess, and certainly those who praise you for virtues you do not have, for they flatter you and therefore deserve to be despised.

My children, love to go constantly to the synagogue to pray, so that you may receive reward every day, for even the steps you take bring reward.

My children, love the study hall and the sages of Torah so that your children will merit to study Torah.

My children, do not be brazen before someone greater than you, as the Sages taught in "Masechet Derech Eretz": whoever shows insolence before one greater than him will eventually suffer affliction. If a person refrains from performing a commandment and instead commits a sin, his wife may die in a plague, as it is written: “Behold, I take away the delight of your eyes with a plague.” If you honor a sage, you will merit sons and daughters raised in greatness; if you honor the poor, you will merit sons and daughters engaged in Torah and the fulfillment of commandments. If you see a sage who has died, stand and accompany him until he is carried away. If you see a poor man who has died, accompany him until he is brought to the grave, and when you return they will speak of your peace as they spoke of the peace of Phinehas son of Eleazar. If you see a poor friend whose means have fallen and whose hand has grown weak, do not send him away empty-handed, as it is said: “He who guards a commandment will know no evil.” If you lend money to a poor person in his time of distress, the verse will be fulfilled for you: “Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer.” If you exalt yourself before your fellow, the Holy One will humble you; but if you elevate others, whether in study or at gatherings, make peace with them so that peace will rest upon your bed.

My children, love Torah scholars who conduct themselves as Torah scholars should, and honor them greatly; then the Omnipresent will honor you and raise you to higher levels. The Sages taught that fifteen qualities characterize a Torah scholar: he is dignified in his coming, pious in his sitting, discerning in understanding, wise in his actions, aware of his place, content with his portion, does not claim credit for himself, gathers knowledge, reflects deeply, asks and answers properly, listens and adds insight, seeks out sages, and studies in order to act.

A Torah scholar should be modest in eating and drinking: he should not eat or drink while standing, should not lick the dish or smack his lips, and should not behave arrogantly before his fellow. He should also be modest in bathing, anointing, clothing, walking, speech, and all his good deeds.

He should minimize laughter, speech, sleep, and indulgence, and be sparing in both affirmation and denial.

A Torah scholar is recognized by four things: by his cup, by his purse, by his anger, and by his manner of dress; and some say, also by his speech. The adornment of Torah is wisdom, the adornment of wisdom is fear of Heaven, the adornment of fear is humility, and the adornment of humility is modesty. Four things are disgraceful for a Torah scholar: that he should not walk alone in the darkness of the road, that he should not go out perfumed into the marketplace, that he should not enter the study hall last, and that he should not spend much time sitting with the ignorant.

Great modesty is required of a Torah scholar in the way he conducts himself, like a bride, so that other people may learn from his good deeds. Just as a bride, while she is in her father’s house, conducts herself modestly, but when she goes out to the marketplace she makes herself known and says, “Whoever knows testimony about me should come and testify on my behalf,” so too a Torah scholar must be modest in his ways yet well-known for his good deeds, pursuing truth and not falsehood, faithfulness and not theft, peace and not dispute, following strength and courage rather than pursuing women.

A person should always know before whom he stands, before whom he sits, with whom he eats and drinks, with whom he reclines, with whom he converses, and before whom he signs his documents.

A person should not behave differently from the customs of society: he should not remain awake among those sleeping or sleep among those awake; not cry among those rejoicing nor laugh among those mourning; not stand among those sitting nor sit among those standing; not read among those studying nor study among those reading. In short, a person should not depart from the ordinary conduct of people.

When entering a place, the greater person enters first; when entering a prison, the younger enters first; when descending a ladder, the smaller goes first; in an assembly, the greater takes precedence. One who is walking greets the one who is sitting.

A person should not recline before someone greater than himself. When breaking bread, he should break from the baked portion. When eating radishes or onions, he should begin from the leafy end. He should not take bread, bite it with his teeth, and then return it to the table. When drinking in public, he should turn slightly aside and drink. He should not be crooked, gluttonous, or quarrelsome. He should forgive insults and not gain honor through the shame of his fellow. The beginning of sin is sinful thought; next comes mockery; after that arrogance; then cruelty; then idleness; then baseless hatred; and finally the evil eye. As Solomon said, “Though he speaks graciously, do not trust him, for seven abominations are in his heart.”

Be flexible like a reed that bends with the wind in every direction, for Torah endures only with one whose spirit is humble, not with one whose spirit rules over him. Therefore the Torah is compared to water: just as water does not flow to high places but to low ones, so the Torah rests only upon those who are humble in spirit.

Whoever overlooks his own measures (is forgiving toward others) has all his sins overlooked for him, as it is said: “Who is a God like You, who bears iniquity and passes over transgression.” Whoever strives against the words of Torah will in the end grow wise through them, as it is said: “If you have acted foolishly in exalting yourself…” Whoever grows wise in the words of Torah is given additional wisdom beyond his wisdom, as it is said: “Give to a wise man and he will become wiser still.” But whoever shows contempt for even one matter of the Torah is liable to karet, as it is said: “For he has despised the word of the Lord and has broken His commandment; that soul shall surely be cut off, his sin shall remain upon him.” This teaches that the soul is cut off and its sin remains with it.

Any Torah scholar who treats the washing of hands lightly is considered disgraceful. A guest who brings in another guest without permission is disgraceful on the host’s right; a guest who burdens another guest is the worst of the three. Seven traits characterize an uncultivated person: he speaks before one who is greater than he; he interrupts the words of his fellow; he is hasty to answer; he asks questions not relevant to the matter and answers incorrectly; he says of the last thing that it was first and of the first that it was last; regarding something he did not hear he says, “I heard it”; and he does not admit the truth. Always let your entrance be graceful and your departure be graceful; minimize worldly business and engage yourself in Torah.

One who walks behind his teacher is not permitted to take leave of him until he receives permission. If there are two students who are equal to one another: when entering, the host enters first and the guest after him; when leaving, the guest exits first and the host afterward. One who takes leave of his teacher, whether the teacher is greater or lesser, says to him, “I am taking my leave.” A person should never depart either from his friend or from his teacher without waiting until he receives permission. All people should learn proper conduct from Heaven itself, for when God spoke to Abraham our father, saying “Abraham, Abraham,” Abraham answered, “Here I am, my Lord.” A person should not enter his friend’s house suddenly. One should also learn proper conduct from Heaven, for God stood at the entrance of the Garden of Eden and called to Adam, as it is said: “And the Lord God called to the man and said to him, ‘Where are you?’” There is also an incident with elders who went to the inner kingdom, and they had a philosopher friend there, these were Rabban Gamliel, Rabbi Yehoshua, Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah, and Rabbi Akiva. Rabbi Yehoshua said to Rabban Gamliel, “My teacher, would you like us to go greet our philosopher friend?” He replied, “Yes.” Rabbi Yehoshua went and knocked on the door, and the philosopher reflected to himself and said, “This is not ordinary conduct but the conduct of a sage.” A person should regard everyone as potentially dangerous like bandits, yet honor them as Rabban Gamliel did.

One who enters the house of a host should do whatever the host instructs him, and he should not be demanding during the meal. One may leave a corner portion from food prepared in a pan, but not from food prepared in a pot. A person’s attitude should always be pleasant and mixed among all people. A person should not hold a piece of bread as large as an egg in his hand; one who holds such a large piece is considered a glutton. One should not drink an entire cup at once; one who drinks it in a single gulp is considered greedy. How should one drink? Two sips is proper conduct; three is the way of the arrogant. A person should not eat garlic or onion from the top end upward, and if he does so he is considered gluttonous. A person should not drink two cups during the meal and then recite the blessing after the meal, because he appears gluttonous. When two people sit at one table, the greater among them extends his hand first and then the lesser; one who extends his hand before someone greater than him is considered greedy. A person should not eat before four hours of the day have passed. Hot water in large amounts is harmful to the body, but in small amounts it is beneficial. Wine in large amounts is harmful, but in small amounts it is beneficial. Three things are equal to one another: wisdom, fear of Heaven, and humility. One who enters his friend’s house should not say, “Give me something to eat,” until they themselves invite him. If a cup is poured for him, he should bow slightly and drink it. How much should he bow? With hot drinks, three times; with cold drinks, four times. Rabbi Yehudah said that this applies to a cup in Galilee, but with a cup in Judea one may bow and drink as much as he wishes. A person should not say to his friend, “Come and I will feed you as you fed me,” because that resembles interest. One should not send a barrel of wine to his friend with oil placed on its opening, for that is considered dangerous. A person should not say to his friend, “The oil has run out from the empty jug,” because that leaves a benefit without compensation. One should not give his friend new wine in place of old wine, for that is a form of theft. If someone is selecting wine for a merchant, he should not say, “Remove this and bring that,” for that is a form of theft. If a person passes through the market among grain sellers, he should not ask the price of something if he does not intend to buy it, because it falsely raises the seller’s expectations. A person should not break bread over a bowl, though he may wipe the bowl clean with a piece of bread. One should not gather crumbs and place them on the table because it displeases one’s fellow. One should not bite from a piece of bread and return it to the bowl. One should not bite from a piece and give it to another person, since people’s sensibilities differ. One should also not drink from a cup and then hand it to another person, because of the danger to life.

There is a story about Rabbi Akiva who once had lodging with a certain man. The host gave him a cup and tasted from it; Rabbi Akiva said to him, “Go and drink it yourself.” Ben Azzai said to him, “How long will you continue giving Rabbi Akiva cups that have already been tasted?” Another incident occurred when Rabbi Akiva was lodging with a certain man. The host took a piece of bread and used it to support a bowl. Rabbi Akiva quickly grabbed it and ate it. The host said to him, “Rabbi, is there no other piece of bread for you to eat except the one I am using to support the bowl?” Rabbi Akiva replied, “It seems to me that you were once burned with lukewarm water, and now you are not even burned by boiling water.” A person should not drink from his cup and then place it on the table; rather, he should hold it in his hand until the attendant comes and takes it from him.

Rabbi said five things: one should not place raw meat on bread, nor a bowl on bread; one should not throw bread; and one should not sit upon a table that has food on it, for this disgraces the food. One who enters a meal should not take his portion and give it to others or to the attendant, lest some disorder occur during the meal; rather, he should take it, place it before himself, and afterward give it to him. Guests who enter the house of a host are not permitted to give anything from what is set before them to the host’s son or to his servant unless they first receive permission from the host. There is a story about a man who brought three poor men into his house during a time of hardship. He had only three eggs and placed them before them. The host’s son came and stood before them, and one of the poor men took his portion and gave it to the boy; the second did the same, and the third likewise. When the host saw the three eggs in his son’s hands, he rose up, lifted his son to his full height, and threw him to the ground, and the boy died. When the boy’s mother saw that her son had died, she went up to the roof and threw herself down and died. When the father then saw that both his son and his wife had died, he also went up to the roof, threw himself down, and died. Thus three lives were lost because of this matter.

One who enters the bathhouse should say: “May it be Your will, Lord my God and God of my fathers, that You bring me in in peace and take me out in peace, and save me from this and from anything similar in the future.” Before entering, what should he do? He removes his shoes, takes off his cloak, loosens his belt, removes his outer garment, and then loosens his lower garment. After he washes and comes out, they bring him a towel; he dries his head first and afterward dries the rest of his body. If oil is brought to him, he anoints his head first and afterward the rest of his limbs, because the head is the king over all the limbs. Afterward he puts on his lower garment, dresses in his outer garment, fastens his belt, covers himself with his cloak, puts on his hat, and then puts on his shoes. When putting on shoes, he first puts on the right one and then the left. When removing them, he removes the left first and then the right. Similarly with tefillin: he puts on the arm tefillin first and then the head tefillin; when removing them, he removes the head tefillin first and then the arm tefillin. If he has a servant or a son, they may assist him. A person should not bring oil in a glass container into the bathhouse because of danger. A person should also not spit in front of his fellow, nor should he spit in the bathhouse because of danger.

A person should discuss the laws of the latrine in the latrine and the laws of the bathhouse in the bathhouse. One should not ask or answer questions in a place where most people are clothed and some are naked, and a person should not greet another with peace in the bathhouse because of the danger. If someone greets him there, he should respond, “This is a bathhouse.” Some say he may answer the greeting and there is no problem. A person should not place his feet on the edge of the bath while crouching inside it, for that is considered improper conduct. A person should not say to his fellow, “Press your hand on me,” in the bathhouse, and if he does so he will not come out safely. Rabbi Yehudah said that this applies when the water is scarce, but when there is abundant water it is praiseworthy. One who calls twice or immerses twice is considered improper. One who wraps himself in his cloak and stands in the place of steam is robbing the public. One who washes in cold water and then rinses in warm water is also robbing the public. What should he do instead? He should go and dig wells, pits, and caves, repair roads and pathways, and thereby make amends.

One who goes out to the city before the rooster crows, Rabbi Chiyya says he should not go out with fewer than two people. And which rooster did they refer to? An average rooster, as it is said: “Who has put wisdom in the inward parts, or who has given understanding to the rooster?” A person who comes from the road and enters the bathhouse, lets blood, drinks and becomes intoxicated, or engages in marital relations on the ground, his blood is upon his own head. One who kills a louse on a bed, his blood is upon his own head. One who eats peeled garlic, peeled onion, or a peeled egg that was left overnight, his blood is upon his own head. One who stands by candlelight or by moonlight, his blood is upon his own head. One who drinks mixed beverages that were left overnight, his blood is upon his own head. One who drinks water from streams or rivers with his mouth or with one hand, his blood is upon his own head because of the danger of the worm. One who lets blood and then sits in a fast, his blood is upon his own head.

Merchants of books, their merchants, and the merchants of their merchants will never see a sign of blessing. Merchants of non-kosher fish and of non-kosher locusts will never see a sign of blessing. One who earns his livelihood from reeds and jugs will never see a sign of blessing. Rabbi Akiva said that Torah scholars cease their work on the Ninth of Av, and all people should conduct themselves like Torah scholars. It was once said that Rabbi Akiva was sitting beneath an olive tree because of danger, and he said that those who cut down good trees, those who raise livestock inappropriately, street traders, and those who perform work on the eve of Shabbat or on the eve of festivals from the ninth hour onward will never see a sign of blessing. One who depends on the wages of his donkey, the wages of his wife, or the wages of a mill, and one who sells his book even though he does not need to, and one who sells his daughter even though he has nothing to eat, none of them will ever see a sign of blessing. Rabbi Yitzchak says that one who eats koratzin (slander or tale-bearing) is like one who sheds blood, as it is said: “You shall not go about as a talebearer among your people; you shall not stand by the blood of your fellow, I am the Lord.” Rabbi Eliezer says that one who hates his fellow is like a shedder of blood, as it is said: “If a man hates his fellow and lies in wait for him and rises against him and strikes him dead.” Ben Azzai says that one who hates his wife is like one who sheds blood, as it is said: “And he places false charges against her and brings forth an evil name against her,” for in the end he will hire witnesses against her and cause her to be stoned. Rabbi Yosi says that one who sets a fixed end for everything has no share in the World to Come. Rabbi Meir says that anyone who has a house of study in his city and does not go there is liable to death. Rabbi Meir further said: if regarding the Passover sacrifice, which is only one of the 613 commandments of the Torah, anyone who does not come and stand by his offering from the time it is slaughtered until it is completed is liable to death, then with regard to the house of study, where thousands upon thousands and myriads of commandments of the Torah are discussed, how much more so. Rabbi Meir also said that anyone who has a Torah scholar beside him and does not serve him is liable to death, as it is said: “For he has despised the word of the Lord and broken His commandment.” And anyone who is able to study Torah and does not study it, about him the Torah says: “What wrong did your fathers find in Me that they went far from Me and followed vanity and became vain?” One who washes his shoes and then goes out to the marketplace is considered arrogant. One whose cloak is thrown to the sides, whose hat is tilted back, whose thighs are spread apart, and who walks through the market swinging the straps of his tefillin in his hand is considered arrogant. All arrogance is likened to idolatry, as it is said: “You shall not bring an abomination into your house,” and elsewhere it says: “Every proud heart is an abomination to the Lord.” Just as the abomination mentioned here refers to idolatry, so too the abomination mentioned there refers to idolatry. It is also said elsewhere: “Men, sons of worthlessness, went out,” and elsewhere: “But the worthless are all like thorns cast away.” Rather, be strong to walk in the ways of God, for the truly mighty are those who walk in His ways, as it is said: “Bless the Lord, His angels, mighty in strength who do His word.” Therefore, my children, choose the virtue of derech eretz, for among all the character traits there is none better than it, and through it a person will merit and reach all the other virtues of character.

And may God grant us the merit to understand its path and to know its proper place, through His abundant mercy and great kindness.