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Sifrei Bamidbar Paragraph 104

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ויחר אף ה' בם וילך – מאחר שהודיעם סרחונם, אח"כ גזר עליהם נדוי. והרי דברים ק"ו: ומה אם מי שאמר והיה העולם לא כעס על בשר ודם עד שהודיעם סרחונם – ק"ו על בשר ודם, שלא יכעוס על חבירו עד שיודיעו סרחונו. ר' נתן אומר הודיעם סרחונם ואח"כ גזר עליהם נדוי, שלא יאמרו כדרך שאמר איוב (איוב י) הודיעני על מה תריבני:

Sifrei by Rabbi Shraga Silverstein

(Bamidbar 12:9) "And the wrath of the L-rd burned in them, and He departed": After He apprised them of their offense, He decreed ostracism upon them. Now does this not follow a fortiori, viz.: If He who spoke and brought the world into being did not vent His wrath upon flesh and blood until He apprised them of their offense, how much more so should flesh and blood not vent his anger upon his neighbor until he apprises him of his offense! R. Nathan says: He apprised them of their offense and then decreed ostracism upon them so that they not say as Iyyov did (Iyyov 10:2) "Apprise me of what You accuse me!"

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