אהבתי כי ישמע ה' את קולי תחנוני וכו' רז"ל אמרו בפסחים דף קי"ח דרש רבא מאי דכתיב אהבתי כי ישמע ה' את קולי תחנוני אמרה כנסת ישראל לפני הקב"ה רבש"ע אימתי אני אהובה לפניך בזמן שאתה שומע קול תחנוני ואפשר לפרש במ"ש בזהר הקדוש דלא לשתמע קליה בצלותא. ודייקי רבנן דמדקאמר קליה ולא קאמר קלא היינו דאפילו הוא בעצמו לא ישמע קולו וזו צריכה [זהירות] רבה להוציא הדברים מפיו בחיתוך אותיות ותיבות כתקנן ויהיה בלחש עד שהוא בעצמו לא ישמע קולו וצריך ליזהר בזה זהירות יתר מאד וז"ש אימתי אני אהובה לפניך בזמן שאתה שומע קול תחנוני אתה דוקא ולא המתפלל עצמו ולזאת יקרא תפלה בכונה שלימה:

I have loved Adonai - since He hears my voice, my supplications. Since He inclined His ear to me - and in my days, I will call out. The pangs of death have encircled me and the straits of the Pit have found me and I found grief. And in the name of the Lord I called, "Please Adonai, Spare my soul." Gracious is Adonai and righteous, and our God acts mercifully. Adonai watches over the simple; I was poor and He has saved me. Return, my soul to your tranquility, since Adonai has favored you. Since You have rescued my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. I will walk before the Lord in the lands of the living. I have trusted, when I speak - I am very afflicted. I said in my haste, all men are liars. What can I give back to Adonai for all that He has favored me? A cup of salvations I will raise up and I will call out in the name of Adonai. My vows to Adonai I will pay, now in front of His entire people. Precious in the eyes of Adonai is the death of His pious ones. Please Adonai, since I am Your servant, the son of Your maidservant; You have opened my chains. To You will I bring a thanksgiving offering and I will call out in the name of Adonai. My vows to Adonai I will pay, now in front of His entire people. In the court- yards of the house of Adonai, in your midst, Jerusalem. Halleluyah! (Ps.116:12-19) “I have loved Adonai since he heard my supplication.” The sages state in Masechet Pesachim, 118b, “Rava taught: What is the meaning of: “I love that the Lord heard my voice and my supplications” (Ps. 116:1)? The Congregation of Israel said: Master of the Universe, when am I beloved by You? When You hear the voice of my supplications.” It is possible to explain this based on a statement in the Holy Zohar, “His voice is not heard in prayer.” It specifically says “his voice” and it doesn't say “the Voice.” Even though the voice of God is not heard. One needs to be especially careful to articulate one’s letters and words properly but to do so in a whisper so that his words are not heard. One says, when am I beloved before you? When You especially hear the voice of my supplication. This means specifically You, God, hear the voice and not the one who is doing the praying. This is called prayer with complete Kavanah, holy intention.

Or, one might explain this according to the statement in the third chapter of Taanit,114 Samuel declared a fast and it immediately rained that night. Samuel said that it is like the king who answers a request by saying, “Give it to him but don’t let him see Me!”115 compares the story of Samuel to the king who cries for help but the king says let him pine for help and then give to him - the king does give it to him directly. They said, he merits to receive the desire of his heart and they immediately give it to him. How is this different? “The prayer of his lips” (Ps. 21:3) is given to one at a time when the person is not worthy. When the statement “I am beloved when God hears my supplication,” is meant to exclude the one about which God says, “Give it to him but don’t let him see Me.” Then it is enough for God to incline His ear to me. When that happens I recognize that I am not worthy of being included among those who receive the desire of their heart. Therefore, “On the days when I call out,” that is, whenever I call out and pray to God and it does not occur to him that I am in the category of those who deserve to receive the desire of their heart, I still rejoice that God hears my voice.

It is also possible to explain this passage based on what I wrote in Devarim Achadim, Homily 4, based on the sages and the Ari, of blessed memory. In times of suffering a person should mention his own merits but he should do so in a way that makes known two aspects: first that the blessed Holy One knows what is really in his heart. The person wants to mention his merits but he knows that he can’t because of his prosecutors, lest they accuse him regarding his merits which are not really proper. In this way they can multiply his accusations! In the psalm, the person also offers supplication to God to save him so that his accusers don’t know what is really in his heart. We have explained this with the words, “Give ear to my speech, Adonai, consider my utterance. Heed the sound of my cry, my king and God, for I pray to You.” (Ps. 5:2-3) Some of this was mentioned above in the section on, “Adonai heard our voice.” We also know what the Holy Zohar says about the verse, “When the time approached for Israel to die,” “When the time approached for David to die,” the righteous repair themselves every day so that as the time of their death approaches their days are full and complete. The psalm says, “I have loved Adonai - since He hears my voice, my supplications,” but it could have said, “the voice of my supplication. When God hears what is really in his heart, He mentions the person’s merits and then He hears the person’s supplications… God leans his ear to me for my needs and he hooks on my merits with compassion. “And in my days, I called out to him,” that is, I made an excuse by mentioning my days in my supplication, hoping that God in His mercy would see that most of my days are righteous and complete with Torah and commandments.

The pangs of death have encircled me…” One might explain this based on a story in Perek HaHelek, Sanhedrin 95a, “And Ishbi-benob tried to kill David'' (ll Sam 21:16) …Rav Yehuda says that Rav says: This is a man [ish] who came to punish David over matters of Nob. The blessed Holy One, said to David: How long will this sin be concealed in your hand? Through your actions the inhabitants of Nob, the city of priests, were massacred, and through you, Doeg the Edomite was banished, and through you Saul and his three sons were killed. God said... You may choose the punishment. Do you want your descendants to cease to exist or that you be handed to the enemy? David said before Him: Master of the Universe, it is preferable that I be handed to the enemy and my descendants will not cease to exist. One day… Abishai said to him: Reverse your prayer and pray that your descendants cease to exist rather than that you will be handed to the enemy… If so, help me. That is the meaning of what is written: “And Abishai, son of Zeruiah, came to his aid…” (II Sam 21:17). See what is written in the Talmud at length. It could be that this hints at the fact that God in His mercy gave the Holy Name to Avishai, which can be read, Yesh Bo (It is in him), made up of the letters of his name. The aleph of Avishai is additional because it makes up the letters pele, wonder. From this name of compassion and his strength he was able to fight against… “The pangs of death encircled me…” means my pains surrounded me because of the death of Saul and the people of Nob. This is the “pangs of death.” The pangs of death because of the death of the righteous and the suffering of Saul as well as the suffering in Hell of Doeg since I was responsible for all these deaths. As a result the prosecutor has pursued me to hand me over to Yeshbi116. As a result, “I have found sorrow and grief.” “And in the name of Adonai I called.” An extra letter Vav was added to the prayer of Avishai. “Please God spare my soul,” For I have come back from the punishment I received, being turned over to the enemy. “Gracious is God and righteous,” even in judgment God is still compassionate. “Adonai watches over the simple,” for I was foolish when I allowed myself to be turned over to my enemy. “I was poor,” when the danger of death overtook me. “But He saved me,” God saved me from suffering so that Yeshbi could not kill me. God sent Avishai who aided me and advised me to change what I said. “Return, my soul to your tranquility,” for now an enemy cannot rise against me because God has saved my soul from death by Yeshbi. “And my eyes from tears,” for there was reason that I deserved to be killed and to end the service of God. “And my feet from stumbling,” I was destined to stumble along with Dumah117 since my years were not complete as it says in the first chapter of Chagigah. But now when I die, “I will walk before the Lord in the lands of the living,” in the Garden of Eden immediately. “I trust even when I speak,” this speech is very harsh - when I speak of my offspring being wiped out. “I am very afflicted,” I am suffering deeply until I had such regret on the overturning of this matter until, “I said in my haste” in great suffering when I had no rest, until I thought “all people are liars/deceivers.” The word kaziv means to stop or fail, in other words, he said that his offspring shall cease. When King David saw through the Divine Spirit that Joash would remain to establish the Kingdom of David, he said, “What can I give back to Adonai for all that He has favored me? A cup of salvations…” (Since salvation is plural) it refers to two things: God saved me from death and he received my words changing the punishment to annihilate my offspring so that my offspring weren’t destroyed. “My vows to Adonai “ which I made in my time of troubles, “I will pay.” From this we may conclude, “Precious in the eyes of Adonai is the death of His pious ones.” For I was prepared to sacrifice myself to the enemy but God saved me twice. For this he said, “Please Adonai, since I am Your servant, the son of Your maidservant; You have removed my chains,” twice and for this “Will I offer a thanks, giving offering and I will call out in the name of Adonai.”

“I believed when I spoke, I was very afflicted.” I have heard that there are those who believe that it refers to King David who believed Tziva118Your servant planned to saddle his ass and ride on it and go with Your Majesty—for your servant is lame.[Ziba] has slandered your servant to my lord the king. But my lord the king is like an angel of the LORD; do as you see fit.For all the members of my father’s family deserved only death from my lord the king; yet you set your servant among those who ate at your table. What right have I to appeal further to Your Majesty?” The king said to him, “You need not speak further. I decree that you and Ziba shall divide the property.” gossiped against Mephibosheth. Because King David said to Mephibosheh, “Let you and Tziva divide up the land,” a Divine voice issued and said, “Jeroboam and Rachabam shall divide the kingdom.” This is what the verse states, “I believed Tziva’s malicious gossip and because of it I continued to speak harshly about you and Tziva… As a result of this I was very afflicted because the Kingdom would be divided because I listened to the gossip. It appears that it can be explained in this way: I was afflicted greatly twice . Not only was the kingdom divided but King Jeroboam did not receive an equal part for Jeroboam received ten tribes and the kingdom was not divided in half because of what I did to Mephibosheth. This was double evil. First he said that everything would be given to Tziva. And once this had been established, after the kingdom had been given to him, King David decided to divide it between them, so that a smaller kingdom remained with Rehoboam. The Psalm states, “I said in my haste,” When Tziva first came to me. “All men are liars,” in other words, everything will be given to the person who has lied - Tziva- if this happens what shall be? “What can I give back to Adonai who has favored me?” Who placed it in my heart to go back and divide the land between them.

Another interpretation of Psalm 116, “What can I give back to Adonai for all that He has favored me?” hints at the kindness that God showed Ruth, when she came to Boaz at midnight, by not cursing her. The words, tigmalohi alai, “He has favored me,” have the numerical value (gematria) of 510, like the name Ruth when we add the three letters of the name as well as the word as a whole. Also, the first letters of the words *Mah ashiv L'adonai, “*What can I give back,” are aleph, lamed, mem (אלם) because he was like a mute person since he did not curse her. For this, King David gave thanks and offered praise to the Holy One at midnight, “For you treated my grandmother at midnight kindly, not allowing Boaz to curse her. That is why I rise at midnight to thank You.”