MARRIAGE SERVICE “The LORD God said: It is not good for man to be alone, I will make a partner suited to him…That is why a man leaves his father and mother and attaches himself to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Gen. 2:18, 2:24). Marriage is one of the supreme institutions of Judaism, the first mentioned in the Bible, and the one spoken of by the prophets in their deepest moments as the most compelling metaphor for God’s relationship with His people. In marriage, the bridegroom and bride pledge themselves to one another in a bond of loyalty and love, each respecting the integrity of the other while joining their destinies to achieve together what neither could achieve alone. The very word ḥayyim, “life,” in Hebrew is plural, as if to suggest that life, at its fullest, is to be shared. Marriage is the moralization of passion, love translated into a covenant of mutual responsibility through which, by sharing our vulnerabilities, we redeem our solitude and discover strength.

בָּרוּךְ Blessed are You: Marriage originally took the form of two distinct moments. The first, Erusin or Kiddushin, “betrothal,” joined the couple in a mutual pledge. Bride and groom then returned to their respective families. A year or so later, the bride would be brought under the bridal canopy to the groom and they would begin their life together. This was called Nissu’in, and was accompanied by its own blessings. During the upheavals of Jewish life in the early Middle Ages, the two ceremonies were brought together. Each involves blessings said over a cup of wine, and nowadays they are separated by the reading of the marriage contract (Ketuba). The betrothal blessing spells out the fact that both ceremonies must be observed for the marriage to be complete.

הֲרֵי אַתְּ מְקֻדֶּֽשֶׁת לִי Behold you are consecrated to me: The declaration accompanying the giving of the ring by the groom to the bride. The use of the word “consecration” in the context of marriage signals the sacred nature of the bond between the partners. כְּדָת מֹשֶׁה וְיִשְׂרָאֵל The law of Moses and of Israel: the bridegroom undertakes to honor his obligations according to both biblical (Moses) and rabbinic (Israel) law.