Sifrei Devarim Paragraph 213
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(דברים כא יג) וְהֵסִירָה אֶת שִׂמְלַת שִׁבְיָהּ מֵעָלֶיהָ, מְלַמֵּד שֶׁמַּעֲבִיר מִמֶּנָּה בְּגָדִים נָאִים וּמַלְבִּישָׁהּ בִּגְדֵי אַלְמְנוּת, שֶׁהַגּוֹיִם, אֲרוּרִים הֵם, בְּנוֹתֵיהֶם מִתְקַשְּׁטוֹת בַּמִּלְחָמָה בִּשְׁבִיל לְהַזְנוֹת אֲחֵרִים אַחֲרֵיהֶן.
Pisqa’ 213⁴
- “And she shall remove from herself the garment of her captivity” (Dt. 21:13). This teaches that they remove from her any fine clothing, and dress her in widow’s garb. For the gentiles —curse them!— prettify their daughters during battles so that others will whore after them.
footnotes: ⁴ H:224-225; JN2:114.
וְיָשְׁבָה בְּבֵיתֶךָ – בְּבַיִת שֶׁמִּשְׁתַּמֵּשׁ בּוֹ; נִתְקָל בָּהּ וְנִכְנָס, נִתְקָל בָּהּ וְיוֹצֵא; דּוֹמָה לְקֵרוּיָה וְרוֹאֶה בְּנִוּוּלָהּ.
“And she will stay in your house” (Dt. 21:13)— in the house he normally uses, so that he will trip over her upon entering, and he will trip over her upon leaving, like an old piece of pumpkin. And he will notice her disgrace.
וּבָכְתָה אֶת אָבִיהָ וְאֶת אִמָּהּ יֶרַח יָמִים – אָבִיהָ וְאִמָּהּ מַמָּשׁ, דִּבְרֵי רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר. רַבִּי עֲקִיבָה אוֹמֵר: אֵין אָבִיהָ וְאִמָּהּ אֶלָּא עֲבוֹדָה זָרָה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ירמיהו ב כז): ״אוֹמְרִים לָעֵץ אָבִי אַתָּה״.
- “Then she shall weep for her father and mother for a month of days” (Dt. 21:13)— this refers to her actual father and mother: words of R. Eliezer. R. Akiva says: Actually, her father and mother [represent] images in a foreign cult, As it is said: “They say to a piece of wood: You are my father!” (Jer. 2:27) “For a month of days” (Dt. 21:13)— **for thirty days.**⁵
footnotes: ⁵ Cf. T. Yev. 6:7 regarding the proper time delay between the death of a childless husband and his widow’s marriage to the levir. For textual discussion, see F:246, n.
יֶרַח יָמִים – שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם. דָּבָר אַחֵר: יֶרַח – אֶחָד, יָמִים – שְׁנַיִם, הֲרֵי שְׁלֹשָׁה חֳדָשִׁים כְּדֵי בִּגְדֵי נוֹיָהּ שֶׁהָיוּ עָלֶיהָ וַחֲמָדָהּ, וְתִקּוּן הַוָּלָד, כְּדִבְרֵי רַבִּי עֲקִיבָה, בֵּין זֶרַע רִאשׁוֹן לְזֶרַע שֵׁנִי.
- Another word: “A month”—that’s one; “Of days”—the plural indicates two more months, Yielding a total of three months. This is enough time for lavish clothing to wear out, and to establish the paternity of any fetus she may be already carrying. [Three months is sufficient time] to determine if the fetus [is the offspring] of the first husband or of the second: in accord with the words of R. Akiva.
רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר אוֹמֵר: יֶרַח יָמִים כְּמַשְׁמָעוֹ, וְכָל כָּךְ לָמָּה? שֶׁתְּהֵא בַּת יִשְׂרָאֵל שְׂמֵחָה וְזוֹ בּוֹכָה, בַּת יִשְׂרָאֵל מִתְקַשֶּׁטֶת וְזוֹ מִתְנַוֶּלֶת.
R. Eliezer says: “A month of days” (Dt. 21:13)— It means just that! Now, why [do we put her through] all this? So that Israelite daughters may rejoice [in anticipation of marriage], while this one weeps; so that Israelite daughters may luxuriate [in preparation for marriage], while this one is degraded.
וְאַחַר כֵּן תָּבוֹא אֵלֶיהָ וּבְעַלְתָּהּ, הָא אִם לֹא עָשָׂה בָּהּ אֶת כָּל הַמַּעֲשִׂים הָאֵלּוּ, וּבָא עָלֶיהָ – הֲרֵי זוֹ בְּעִילַת זְנוּת.
- “And afterwards you may consort with her and mount her” (Dt. 21:13)— indeed, if he doesn’t impose these procedures upon her and nevertheless mounts her, this is considered a lustful mounting!⁶
footnotes: ⁶ These paragraphs are unevenly attested in mss. and editions. See F:246, n.10.
וְאַחַר כֵּן תָּבוֹא אֵלֶיהָ וּבְעַלְתָּהּ, אֵין לְךָ בָּהּ אֶלָּא מִצְוַת בְּעִילָה.
“And afterwards you may consort with her and mount her” (Dt. 21:13)— there’s nothing left to do but [to fulfill] the commandment to mount her!
וְהָיְתָה לְךָ לְאִשָּׁה, כְּעִנְיָן שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (שמות כא י): ״שְׁאֵרָהּ כְּסוּתָהּ וְעוֹנָתָהּ לֹא יִגְרָע״.
“And she shall be your wife” (Dt. 21:13)— as it is said on this theme: “He may not limit her meat, her wardrobe, or her pleasure” (Ex. 21:10).